Blog
What actually holds couples together – on the bond that time can’t wear out
A child met reliably by someone attuned to their real internal state grows up with a felt sense of "I am," unconditionally. A child met instead by what a parent needed, to be good, easy, impressive, learns something adaptive: how to produce whatever self gets a warm response. This can cause problems in adult relationships
When Armour Becomes a Prison: What happens to the psyche when invincibility fails
At a dinner party, a friend described two people. One was Robbie Williams, parachuting into a concert, gloriously chaotic. The other was a man who had built a formidable career but had become completely unreachable. Everyone laughed at the first story. But it was the second that stayed with me all the way home.
Coming Home to the Wrong Place
Our relationships can be our greatest joy or our deepest pain. Understanding the patterns we live without knowing is where something new begins.