Psychotherapy for Couples and Individuals in Clapham, London and Online
For the moments that ask more or you and the patterns you’re ready to understand
Psychotherapy for Couples and Individuals in Clapham and London
Welcome, and thank you for visiting Deborah Mckay Psychotherapy
I’m Deborah, a psychodynamic psychotherapist working with individuals and couples in Clapham and London and online across the UK and internationally.
Something brings most of us to therapy. It could be a relationship that keeps hitting the same wall, a loss we can’t move through or a sense that we are living at a distance from ourselves or the people we love most. Or life may have delivered something that simply broke through - a bereavement, a betrayal, a diagnosis that has changed everything.
The patterns and attachments formed earliest in our lives have a way of finding us again. I offer a warm confidential space to explore them together with curiosity, honesty and without judgment.
Before training clinically, I spent 20 years as a broadcast journalist and communications advisor, travelling the world and learning to listen for what lies beneath the surface of people’s lives. I bring that alongside my own lived understanding of loss, of disappointment, and of the moments that ask more of us than we feel able to give. I know from my own life what it means to need that space.
I trained at the internationally renowned Tavistock Relationships and hold a BACP accredited post graduate qualification in Couple and Individual Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. I am a visiting clinician at Tavistock clinic in London.
Whatever has brought you here, you don’t have to keep navigating it alone
Working With Me
We are all shaped by what has happened to us, by the relationships that formed us, the losses we have carried, the patterns we learned before we had words for them. Much of this lives beneath the surface quietly influencing how we feel, how we love, and how we struggle. Working psychodynamically means paying attention to this deeper layer.
Together we create a space where what has been hidden can gradually become visible - not to overwhelm, but to have the opportunity to explore. Most clients meet with me weekly, either in person or online. This regularity matters. It allows something quite unique to happen - a relationship of genuine trust and authenticity where nothing needs to be hidden. This is where you can feel truly held as the work deepens.
My Therapy Services
Psychotherapy for Individuals
Coming to therapy takes courage. It is, at its heart, an act of profound self-compassion – a decision to take yourself seriously.
Something may have brought you here. A crisis, a loss, a relationship that has reached its limits. Or perhaps nothing so dramatic, simply a growing sense that the life you are living and the life you want are not quite the same thing. That the ways you have always managed are no longer working as well as they once did. That you are ready, at last, to understand yourself more deeply.
We are all shaped by what has happened to us, by the relationships that formed us, the losses and disappointments we may have carried, the patterns we learned before we had words for them. Much of this lives beneath the surface, quietly influencing how we feel, how and who we love, and how we struggle.
Working psychodynamically, means paying attention to this deeper layer. Being curious about what lies beneath, the unconscious patterns and early experiences that show up, often uninvited in our current lives.
We all carry darkness alongside our light. The instinct is often to push it down, to manage it, to keep in hidden. But what is suppressed does not disappear, it quietly shapes everything above it. Therapy is the act of turning towards what we may rather not see. Not to be overwhelmed by it. But because it is the only way to let the light and creativity back in.
Individuals usually meet with me weekly at the same place and the same time, either in my consulting rooms in Clapham and in London or online across the UK and internationally.
Psychotherapy for Couples
Relationships can reach a point where something no longer feels as it once did. You may find yourself dealing with something completely unexpected or feel that you are not quite connecting, circling the same difficulties and feeling increasingly distant from each other. Beginning couple’s therapy is a way of turning towards these moments – together – with the intention of understanding rather than avoiding them.
Something may have brought you here. A period of conflict, an affair or a breach of trust, or a sense of disconnection that has quietly grown over time. Or perhaps things are not at crisis point, but you are aware that the relationship you want and the one you are experiencing are no longer quite aligned.
In this work, the relationship itself becomes the focus of our attention. Rather than seeing one person as the problem, we begin to look at how the dynamic between you has taken shape – how it has been built over time, and what may now be getting in the way of movement or change.
Every relationship develops its own patterns – ways of communicating, protecting, reaching and sometimes missing each other. These patterns are shaped by each of your histories and experiences of closeness, conflict and care. Much of this happens outside of awareness, yet it influences how you speak, how you listen and how you respond.
In this therapy we work together to create space where both perspectives can be explored more fully. Where misunderstandings can be unpacked rather than repeated, and where new ways of relating may begin to take shape.
Most couples meet with me weekly, either in person or online. Over time this steady space allows something important to emerge – a deeper understanding of yourselves, of each other, and of the relationship you are building together.
What Issues Can Therapy Help With
People come to me for help with a wide range of issues. Here are a few of the more common difficulties that can be supported through therapy:
Relationship difficulties and conflict
Couples in crisis or at a crossroads
Infidelity and breach of trust
Difficulties with intimacy and connection
Sexual difficulties
Divorce and separation
Difficulties in relationships with family members
Bereavement and grief
Loss of identity or purpose
Redundancy or career change
Retirement
Health diagnosis - you or a loved one
Becoming a parent
Low self-esteem and self-worth
Anger and emotional dysregulation
Feeling stuck or disconnected
Recurring relationship patterns
Early trauma and childhood experiences
Attachment difficulties
People pleasing and difficulty with boundaries
Fear of abandonment or rejection
Loneliness and isolation
Work-related stress and burnout
Questions of identity and meaning
Major life decisions
Anxiety and chronic worry
Depression and low mood
Shame and self-criticism
My practice is open to all. I have particular experience working with same-sex couples and welcome the full range of human relationships and experience into the room.
Session Information
Sessions and Fees
- Individuals £90 for 50 mins
- Couples £130 - £160 for 60 - 75 minutes
Sometimes I find couples benefit from longer sessions reflecting the additional complexity of working with two people and their relationship. I fully appreciate that therapy asks a great deal of investment - time, finances and emotional resources. Before we begin, I want us both to feel confident that we are the right fit for each other. For this reason I offer an initial consultation of around 75 minutes. This is an opportunity for us to meet, to explore what has brought you to therapy, and to consider together whether working with me feels right for you.
I ask for a minimum of 48 hours notice if you need to cancel or reschedule a session. Sessions cancelled within this period will be charged in full. I appreciate this may occasionally feel frustrating, but the consistency of our meeting time is part of what makes this work possible.
Location
I have consulting rooms in Clapham and in London. In Clapham they are walkable from Clapham South and Clapham Common tube stations and in London close to Oxford Street tube station. Online sessions are available for clients across the UK and internationally.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is psychodynamic psychotherapy ?
Psychodynamic psychotherapy is a depth approach to understanding yourself. Rather that focusing only on managing symptoms, we explore the underlying patterns. These are the emotional, relational and psychological aspects of what shape how you experience your life and your relationships. It is a collaborative experience and often a profound one.
How is it different from CBT?
CBT works with thoughts and behaviours in the present, and can be very effective for specific issues. Psychodynamic therapy goes deeper - it’s interested in why those patterns exist, where they came from, and what they might be protecting you from. It tends to be longer term and is particularly suited to people who want to understand themselves, not just feel better in the short term.
How long will I need to be in therapy?
There’s no single answer to this. Some people come for a focussed piece of work over several months. Others find that longer-term therapy - a year or more - gives them the space and depth they are looking for. We would discuss this together from the start and revisit as we go.
How often will we meet?
Most clients come weekly. Consistency matters in this kind of work. It’s the regularity of the relationship that allows something to develop and shift.
How long is a session and what are your fees?
Sessions last between 50 minutes to 75 minutes. I charge £90 for individuals for 50 minutes and between £130 - £160 for couples for 60 or 75 minutes.
What happens in the first session?
The first session is a chance for us to meet, and for you to talk about what has brought you to therapy. I’ll listen carefully and we’ll begin to get a sense of what you’re carrying and what you’re hoping for. There is no pressure and it is an opportunity for you to see whether working with me feels right for you.
Can couples therapy help if only one of us wants to come?
It can, though it works best when both partners are willing to engage. That said, one person’s willingness to explore their own patterns can shift the dynamic of a relationship significantly. If your partner is reluctant, it’s worth coming for an individual consultation to think through your options.
We’re thinking about separating, is it too late for therapy?
It’s never too late. Sometimes couples come to therapy at exactly this point - when things feel most stuck or painful. The work can help you find clarity, rebuild connection, and understand what has brought you here. Whatever the future holds, that understanding matters.
How do I know if I’m ready?
If you’re asking the question, you probably are. Readiness rarely feels certain, most people come to therapy carrying some ambivalence. What matters is a willingness to be honest, and some curiosity about yourself. The rest tends to follow.
Is everything confidential?
Yes. Everything you share remains strictly confidential. The only exceptions are the rare circumstances required by law, if there was a serious concern about risk to you or someone else. I would always aim to discuss any such concerns with you directly before taking any action.
Is online therapy as effective as face to face?
For most people, yes. Research increasingly supports the effectiveness of online therapy and many clients find they settle into it more quickly than they expected. What matters most is the quality of the relationship and the consistency of the work. And those are just as possible online as in-person. That said, some people simply prefer to be in the room with someone. I see clients in person my consulting rooms in Clapham and in London.
Get in touch
Feel free to get in touch if you have any questions about therapy or would like to arrange an initial assessment appointment. You are also welcome to call me on 07739 480000 if you would prefer to leave a message or speak with me first. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have before arranging an initial appointment.
All enquires are usually answered within 24 hours, and all contact is strictly confidential.